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things are good. life without meds is different and the same. i'm still learning with how to deal with mood swings, and lately i've been fending off a familiar, creeping depression. that said, i feel like being on medication for several years left me with the tools with manage. at least the tools to manage a little better, anyway. at no point since i've stopped taking my lithium/celexa cocktail have i felt desperate. desperation is a driving force, i think, for most people; and it makes people do things that they wouldn't normally do.

but i guess, when you're bipolar, "normal" is subjective, and depends on the time of year.

it's generally okay, though. i learning to do real grown-up things, like balance a budget and eat sometimes. i've held down this car payment for six months now, which is more than i can say for any car payment ever. at no point have i randomly quit my job and moved out of state. i am a repeat offender with this, and it seems to run in the family. i don't like granbury, but at least i'm not far from family and friends.

but i guess, when you used to live across the country, "far" is subjective, and it depends on which friends and family.

on another note, everyone i know who is not rooted in texas or the deep south right now is moving up to the pacific northwest. i don't know if i've complained about/mentioned that before. i'm not going to go back and look. i swear to god, there's this pattern in my life where i get really into something and everyone ignores it or thinks it's dumb and then i'll give up on it. and then two years later - ALWAYS two years - everyone's really into it. it's like a thing for me now.

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